Reroute after coming to my senses

I have come to my senses. Let me tell you my previous plan, you can call me crazy, and I’ll agree. So my plan was to sail from Destin to St. Petersburg. The winds are stiff and are forecasted to get stronger. At the rate I’ve been going I would be anchored up by Monday afternoon. However, I’m running from an oncoming cold front, so Tuesday and Wed in St Pete it is forecast to be overcast with some rain.  Last I saw it was like .15” each day which isn’t much. My plan was to somehow explore during those rainy days, and then leave to sail back Thursday. I’m not sure what the winds will do later on in next week, but today’s SailFlow forecast had 35’ winds out of the SW by Saturday, so basically I had better get my butt into Destin before then or I’ll be in trouble. 

That’s right, I was going to beat myself up to get to a place where it will rain and then I’d have to turn around. I’m also not feeling super after a stomach unhappiness stemming from overindulgence in a Chinese buffet earlier in the week. So I decided to chicken out.  I’m currently headed north up into St. Joseph bay. It’s been years since I was here and I want to check out the park Sunday.  I then have in mind that I’ll head back towards Panama City via the ICW, that portion of which I’ve never travelled.  If I have to motor for several hours I don’t mind if I’m heading into a cold front, although I do wish I had some remote method of controlling the autopilot.

I think I’ll be a bit happier with this decision. On one hand I wanted to use my leave to go on an epic journey and prove my sailor skills by spending so much time offshore.  But I’m not feeling it. All today I’ve had major anxiety like what gripped me at the beginning of my Dry Tortugas trip, and it has been difficult to mitigate.  At first I tried typing but I couldn’t take it. Then I cooked which kept me busy but right after I ate I felt quite sick to my stomach. I’m not sure if it was the food or psychosomatic. Prior to my Tortugas trip I had spent many days in fevered excitement but also made sure that I got adequate exercise and good meals. I can’t say I’ve done either this week. At work it has been quick PBJ’s for lunch in between a madness of meetings which left me feeling like nothing was accomplished, and this left no time to exercise as I was pushing to get the boat ready for another offshore adventure.

I see once again that the boat is ready, fully equipped to cross oceans. However the human element is lacking in both experience and mental fortitude to handle it.  At least right now. Right now I don’t feel like I can handle days and days of 5’ seas or worse. Right now I just want a quiet night at anchor. So I have changed my plan, and I just have to slog my way into St Joseph bay.  At least I know that I should be anchored by midnight, and tomorrow a shoreside adventure awaits.